Don’t Worry ~ Be Happy

There is still a lot of worry going on out in the world, so let’s find out why Happiness can be elusive, and ways to get Happy again. Let’s have another go at Happiness, and figure out why you can’t chase after it, or make it happen, or give it to another. And most important, why you can’t worry and be Happy at the same time.

Let Happiness Come to You

What is most interesting about finding your Happiness is that you can’t chase after it. It’s like running after a butterfly: you can’t pursue Happiness and expect to capture it. The butterfly of Happiness will elude you – always just one flutter away.

It’s something like trying to tickle yourself to make yourself laugh. It doesn’t work, and the more you try, the more frustrated and irritable you can become.

Too much thinking, too much trying, or too much struggling chases Happiness away.

Remember last week’s Happiness blog, and those four amazing chemicals in your body that can help you move into your Happy place: Dopamine – the reward chemical; Oxytocin –  the love hormone; Serotonin – our mood stabilizer; Endorphins – pain killers.

You can’t chase them and you can’t command them to appear – ‘Arise into my bloodstream!’ No. You allow them to BE, by keeping focused and keeping busy; taking care of you, then taking care of the tasks and chores at hand. Pay attention to being kind, friendly and loving. Exercise, eat well, drink water, engage in Nature. And Laugh every chance you get.

CAVEAT

Sharing your happiness is love-ly, but there is a Caution: think back to Jesse’s words from Becoming Jesse:

“You can’t make someone happy.”

“When your happy-hum doesn’t match an ornery-hum,                                                 

you’re arguing north – the other’s arguing south.”

And,

“You can’t give your happy-hum to anyone. And no one can take your happy-hum.

Unless, you let them take it.”

Don’t give away your Happy by letting someone change your mood. If someone is determined to be worried, anxious or depressed, you do not have to go there with them. And it’s important to know that even your highest and best jocularity can not necessarily shake them out of their doldrums.

Of course, it is still worthwhile to try. You never know if you might plant a seed. And your next burst of laughter could do the trick. Just don’t try to force Happiness on someone who is not in receiving mode.

Not Always Happy

Another thing: you are not supposed to be Happy all the time. You go up, you go down. Sometimes you are even-steven. You are an earthling. Happiness is definitely a part of being in this physical earth realm. But endless Happiness is for the eternal sphere of the non-physical realm.

Yes, here on earth there is sadness. We all know about the grief that accompanies tragedy or disruptions or distress. Sadness or grief often can crop up at unexpected times. I remember celebrating a special event, that suddenly activated a sadness –  because the person who was not there, was all at once in our heart thoughts, and we keenly felt the missing.

Happy and sad. It’s like dark and light. The Opposites. You need them both. They make the contrast that allows you to appreciate each one. The good thing to know is that you can go from sad-worried-anxious to Happy-cheerful-carefree. You can change.

Changing Worry to Happy

Here is a story in five very short chapters to illustrate how you can change from worried and anxious to confident and happy:

Chapter 1: I walk down the road, feeling worried. I suddenly fall into a deep, dark hole in the sidewalk, and I am lost… helpless. It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2: I walk down the same road. Feeling anxious, I pretend not to see that deep hole in the sidewalk. But I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. As I struggle to get out, I think, This can’t be my fault.

Chapter 3: I walk down the same road with the same deep hole. I see it clearly. Still, as I stand at the edge, I fall in. Again. Oh. It is my fault. It’s my habit. But I see where I am. I immediately get up and out.

Chapter 4: I walk down the same road. There is the deep hole. This time, I choose… to walk around it.

Chapter 5: I walk down another road!

So… when you are in that dark hole of not being happy – lucky you – it’s your chance – to climb out. Change direction. Pivot. Choose a new path. And eventually, you can even laugh at it – I see that big old dark hole and I’m not going near it! Have fun with it… because, along the way – guess what? Yup! You begin to feel Happy again.

Be Calm

You know you can’t calm a storm. So, stop struggling against it.

If you are caught in a storm of dark worry and tangled emotions, do what it is you CAN do: calm your self. Don’t try to calm the storm. That tempest will blow over. Mother Nature never creates a storm that lasts forever, as written in this Latin quote:

Post nubile, phoebus.  

 (After the clouds, the sun.)

 When the storm fades away, and the sun comes out, you can climb up and out!

Keep Your Energy for the Positive

Don’t give your energy to the Negative. Stop talking about the dark, bleak, pessimistic things. That is all gossip (social media) and news cycles. You may have noticed that those stories only get bigger and blacker. It feels like the gossips and news commentators are saying, “Oh, you think that’s bad! I can top that!”

Negative Gossip & Negative News

It’s what gossips (social media) and the news media do: stir up a tornado of terribles and horribles.

The latest gossip and the daily news may seem to fill your world at the moment, but when you take a step back, you see that the stories are just the latest horrible talking points. As the wise storyteller, Old Barret, says in Becoming Jesse:

“The world is bent on parading life’s miseries.                                                                  

You have t’ be on the lookout, to choose your best thoughts.                                      

Choose the bliss-t!”

Stop parading the miseries.

Storms, fires, floods, disease. The gossips and news media especially want you to stay tuned for the next sensational story. But you can pay attention to what they are really doing. News outlets and social media use particular words to get your attention and lure you in with shiny headlines and emotional ploys that are usually filled with name-calling, labeling and ‘gotcha’ images. These are nothing but fear tactics. You can tell, because when a story outruns its usefulness, they drop the old, fearful story like yesterday’s trash, to rush headlong into the next new, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad story! There will always be a next one, and a next. It’s what the gossips and news media do – always giving you the latest ‘terrible’.

Light Stories vs. Dark Stories

It’s so easy to get sucked into the adrenaline rush and drama of telling the dark, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad story. Don’t fall into that hole. It’s filled with worry and anxiety and depression.

If you are feeling upside down, check out my short video-blog here. Sometimes you just need a little reminder that your Light is always on, even if it gets smeared when your world turns upside down with the darks.

Climb out, change direction, take a new road. To your Happy. Your Happy is filled with Light, cheerful, carefree, delighted buoyancies.

Try this: tell only the good stories for just one day and see how grand you feel!

You will begin to understand that what seemed so big and hairy-scary, is often a piffling little dust puff. Don’t waste your Happy energy on that!

Shine Your Happy

Remember, stop chasing after Happy – let Happiness come to you. Allow your body to create the chemicals that help you FEEL Happy. Focus on YOU: you can be Happy – but you can’t make someone else Happy.

Allow the pendulum of Life to swing between Happiness and sadness – or any kind of upset. You may fall into a hole, but you can always climb out – and change direction. It’s all about the Opposites helping you find your balance.

Don’t worry – Be Happy! Be calm and positive. Tell the good stories. That’s how you go from worry to Happy. That’s how you keep your…

LIGHT ON!